January 2012
3 posts
I know I shouldn't
But I still check up on you. I still check on your blogs to see how you’re doing. All three of them. Even thought I “kicked” you out of my life. I still feel like I have the need to do so. See how you’re doing. Whether you’re hurt, sad, happy, or what ever the case may be. I love you so much that even though you hurt me by lying, I still want to forgive you, but...
I guess that's how its going to be.
We’re just going to ignore each other? ight. k.
WOOW.
Not even 4 FUCKING hours you came back to this country and look at all the damn shit you caused. You have your own son, your brothers and sisters all pissed and stressed out over YOUR idiotic mistake. Trying to blame us for the damn problem?! trying to act “kawawa” LIKE WTF. I mean it may sometimes work on me because I’m a very caring person, but you’re not fooling your...
December 2011
26 posts
Well I guess it's done,
Just remember, I didn’t break the promise. You did. I just merely provoked you. I’m sorry though. I didn’t intentionally provoke you, I was bringing up a point on how much of a hypocrite you are. I’m tired of everything. You have other bests and now that we aren’t even friends anymore, then go ahead and have as much time as you want with them. I now don’t care....
Whenever someone comes to me.
hoyitsjcbayan:
I feel glad because I know that they can trust me with whatever’s going on through their mind. I love hearing peoples problems and find a solution that will help both parties from their problems, but the thing is when I’m down who’s there for me? Who helps me. I don’t like to come to people because I feel like a burden to them. I have come to people before, but it sucks because...
I know I should be sleeping,
but I just need to get it off of my chest. Bakit ba ako ditu? Sa totoo gusto ko na mamatay. Di ko na kaya. Na lilito ako. Dameng problema. Problema ditu problema dun. Kakainis. I just hate my life. At nights when I can’t sleep I think about my life. How bad it is. I know I should be optimistic, but there’s nothing to be optimistic about. I just want to end my life already. Sometimes I...
1 tag
I'm the type of guy, that if I find out me and my...
I can't stand it.
I think I’m actually starting to like someone again, but I can’t. I can’t because I know I have no chance. She’s so perfect and I’m just JC.
I honestly can't stand attention whores and people...
I mean are you that desperate to get notes? Like how the hell will that benefit you in life? It’s just so sxdcfvgbkjl;
Yes yes I know I shouldn't be explaining myself to...
hoyitsjcbayan:
But if it’s something church related, I just can’t resist. I can’t have people thinking I’m disobeying God just because I want to. There’s a whole story why I do the things I do. Specially if your Iglesia, don’t judge me from what you see here. Get to know me more then you’ll know what kind of things I deal with everyday. Then you’ll realized why I do/did the stuff I do. Inf act,...
I honestly love this blog.
It gives me the freedom to express my thoughts and what’s been bugging my mind for the longest time without being judged.
Everyone always tells me, "JC you need to get a...
I’m always like ehhh, but in reality I really don’t need one right now. I’m not desperate like most of these fuckers. I can actually wait. Yes I mean I prolly could get one, but I don’t want to get with a girl just because I feel lonely, or I want someone to hold. I’m not a low ass mofo who just gets with a girl because they’re desperate, or for titles. I want...
Tbh I feel like nobody cares about me.
I hate everyone. They all just use me for their own personal gain, and when I’m down they aren’t there for me. K.
1 tag
Trying to put the damn blame on me, so you don't...
hoyitsjcbayan:
Yes, when it comes to messing around it’s whatever but when it’s something as serious as this. NO. You have the audacity to blame me for your mistakes?! Hell no. Don’t be surprised I’m pissed at this. Yeah I salitang christiano, BUT do you remember what you said? That I wont tell her bout you doing it. Did I tell her? No. She found out. So did i break it? NO I DID NOT! Get your...
Mama Medy.
Who is she? Why do I call her “mama.” Well see she is an aunt of mine who I used to live with. She is like a mom to me. I still remember the day when I got locked up in my closet by my step dad and was stuck there the whole day. My mom came home and found out what happened and decided to make me leave the house and move with an aunt I barely knew. This aunt however treated me with...
Whenever someone asks me about my dad
I say. “I don’t have one.” Why? Why should I say that? Yes I have a biological father, but I can’t call him a dad. He was never there for me so why should I call him one? I mean yes my mom was never there for me as well. She even made me leave the house at such a young age to live with my aunt who I barely knew, but she got me back and I lived with her most of my life, and...
Honestly my perspective in you has changed so...
You’ve changed. Not for the better but for the worst. You call yourself a bro but you really aren’t. You salitang christiano you wouldn’t tell anyone bout what I told you today and yet you do the exact opposite and go against my will. How fucking low. You know I would of never told you if I knew this was going to happen. I only told you because of what you told me bout Aicel, but...
Finally. Pasalamat hit.
hoyitsjcbayan:
I got in early like I said I was. The moment I closed my eyes and started praying to him, tears flew down my face. Crying for all the things he has done for me this year. Guiding me through all the trials and tribulations I have encountered in this life. Crying for forgiveness of the many sins I’ve committed. I felt his presence once more. After the hymm singing begun. I was...
I feel so bad.
hoyitsjcbayan:
I feel so bad, I don’t deserve to be INC. I’ve done so many things that has disobeyed him. Yet I have the audacity to go to his temple twice a week and call myself his child. I’m sorry. I make mistakes. I’m human. I do truly want to be holy, but all the many trials and tribulations in this world causes me to sin. I want to be holy but it’s just so hard. Pasalamat is coming up. I...
Wow I'm shocked.
I’m shocked. My step dad gave me pumas and a jacket. He said it was to thank me for watching my little sister. I know he’s just using me so he won’t have to go off and hire a babysitter, but what he did was really nice. Even through what he’s done to me. I still stayed obedient, and I guess he realized that. I mean I have to admit there was ONE time I disobeyed him and...
I miss my old life.
I miss stealing shit and having your heart beat faster and faster worried about getting caught, then walking out of the store like a boss. I miss drinking all the time. Getting drunk and not giving a fuck. Smoking grits in the rain. Relaxing to the fall of rain drops. Smoking pot every weekend to relieve that stress that I contain all week. It was just… It was just the good life.
That erg and feeling to smoke again.
I honestly miss it. I miss smoking. Just a couple more days till winter break. I can smoke smoke smoke. I’ve been wanting to for the longest time. It’s my stress reliever. The stress that a normal kid doesn’t have to deal with. I get to just sit back and relax. Listen to music and chill. I just love that feeling.
People always ask me all the time... "You're so...
What happened with me? Things changed. I realized I didn’t need to be loud and entertain you guys and make you laugh. I don’t need to do all of that so you guys would love me. In fact, when I was so loud and funny I heard that you guys always talk shit on me. Saying I was annoying and you guys hated me. Well now that I toned down and I am a lot quieter, you guys are saying you miss the...
Friends.
All my friends at school are fake. To be honest I hate all of them, but two. I just hang with them because I need people to hang out with, and keep the things I want to say to myself. They all piss me off. The things they do. Like no. Just stop. I know that they used to talk shit about me before, but now that I’ve gotten quieter in school they all love me now.
If my family ever finds out I smoke, they...
Its their fault. The stuff I’ve been through in my past. The shit they put me through. No. They shouldn’t be surprised I looked for an alternative to make me happy.
People say I'm spoiled
Yeah I have a nice camera and bike, but guess what? The adults in this house never gave me shit. (Yeah I can’t even call them my own parents). I worked for that on my own without their support. I lived 15 years and way more than half I was independent. All the shit I wanted came from my wallet and my sweat. People shouldn’t be so judgemental. Yeah I have nice things, but that...
They say I have a great life.
Well you know what, there’s far more to it. I don’t live a great life. In fact I live a horrible one. I have a step dad who treats me like shit. He used to beat me everyday for no reason. He not only physically abused me, but mentally and emotionally. He would give me looks of hate like he’s going to kill me or something. It’s all bullshit. You think he’s bad? Well...
Well, you Tumblr peoples are making confession videos? Well ill make a confession post. I would make a video, but i know i will cry my ass off if i do. Well here it goes…. My child hood was not like any other. I’ve had many problems in life, and it all started out when i moved to japan, when i was 4, and found out i had a step dad. My mom introduced me to him going all like “JC...